


What If?

by lizvaughan



Category: If/Then RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizvaughan/pseuds/lizvaughan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if things had turned out a little bit differently for Josh and Liz?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If?

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the concepts of If/Then or characters mentioned. :)_

\-----------

I had woken up reluctantly at 4 am to the sounds of a wailing child from the other room. I had gotten up earlier to the same sounds a mere 2 hours ago, spending half an hour cradling my 6 month old son, trying to get him to go back to sleep. It was unfortunate I was a light sleeper and my husband a heavy one, because every sound our child made would immediately wake me back up. I decided it was Josh's son too, and that this time  _he_ should go get him because I had done it enough times already  this week. Half awake, I shoved my snoring husband to get him to wake up. After about 2 minutes of rustling him, he jolted awake and said sleepily, "What Liz?"

"Your child needs you," I mumbled through my pillow.

"Ok I'll get him," he said, starting to trail off, and then I gave an exasperated sigh as I heard once again the snoring that indicated he wasn't going to help me. I sighed deeply as I got up to help calm my screaming infant.

\------

I woke the next morning at 11, still exhausted, to the smell of bacon being fried. Wrapping myself in my robe, I headed downstairs and leaned against the wall for a moment, taking in the sight that was Josh, holding Cooper in one hand while simultaneously trying to keep breakfast from burning. I watched him saying, "Shit shit shit shit no no no no" and then nervously turning toward the kitchen table to make sure that Jake, our 3 year old, didn't hear him swearing. The floorboard creaked and he looked over his shoulder to see me standing there, my hair in a messy bun, looking like absolute shit with bags under my eyes and no makeup.

"Whatcha got there?" I inquired, giggling, pointing to the heap of burned eggs left sitting in the pan, bouncing the baby I had taken from him.

"I try to make a nice breakfast for you and all I get is teased?" he said, looking mockingly offended. He was shaking his head and laughing, saying, "I can precisely cut open a person but I can't scramble eggs to save my life. I was going to take this up to you on a little tray and you would have breakfast in bed and then I would win husband of the year. But then you just  _had_  to come downstairs and  _had_ to see me completely and utterly fail at making breakfast. See this is really all your fault," he said jokingly. I was smiling up at him and kissed him when we broke apart laughing to see Jake looking over at us locking lips and saying, "EWW!"

We had finally finished breakfast about an hour later. Who knew having two small children would make everything take so long.  It was a lazy Saturday for the Barton family. They called Lucas and David over so they could play with the kids. She loved watching David playing peekaboo with Cooper, making him giggle and seeing Lucas and Josh helping Jake build a castle out of his wooden blocks. Just observing them filled her up with such unimaginable joy. It was a long, hard journey to get to this point in her life but she wouldn't have changed one thing. 

We had all taken a walk later, down to a playground where Jake could explore and play. Jake was a mini-Josh in temprement and looks. He was only a toddler but he loved talking to people and brightening peoples' day just like his father. And then there was Cooper, who at 6 months his we could already tell he was exactly like me. He was a stubborn little child, the spitting image of myself. Our little family (with Lucas and David, of course) had a great day at the park. We all played an intense game of hide and seek where we learned Lucas had some amazing gift at hiding and not being found. Jake was so excited to finally try the "big boy" swing on his own, tired of always having to sit in the kiddy swing like his little brother. At one point Josh started doing pullups on the monkey bars, and I laughed at him because he was so obviously showing off. But I didn't complain because I had two tickets to the gun show. 

It was a good day. We had all walked back home when the sun started to set. Towards the end Jake began to get tired and Josh picked him up where he fell asleep in his arms. I put the baby to sleep and was reading  _The Cat in the Hat_ to Jake who was drifting off. The phone rang and I mouthed "Shit" because Jake opened his eyes wide. 

"Shhh my baby go back to sleep," I said, stroking his cheek until he finally went to sleep. I quietly exited their room and shut the door, and grabbed a bottle of wine so that Josh and I could share it and catch up on our tv shows we had left in the DVR for over 4 months. I walked into the kitchen to see Josh on the phone. 

"I appreciate everything you've done. Yes. Thanks," she heard him say. 

"The baby stopped crying, Jake hasn't started yet. Let's have wine while we can!" I said. 

"Yeah that sounds great," he said distractedly. "Listen Liz, I have to ship out."

I dropped the bottle I was holding. 

"Ship out? Josh."

"They want me with the second brigade from Fort Drum because I didn't go with mine."

I could feel the wine start to soak into my socks, but at this moment that didn't matter. Nothing mattered except that my husband was going back to war. His and my hell.

"Tell them no."

"You can't tell them no."

"Yes you can you write them an email. 'Hell. No.'"

"I used up my last referal when we had Cooper."

"Then quit!"  He just looked at me, knowing full well that I knew that you can't quit. "When?"

"I report in two weeks."

I was furious at him. I know I was being so selfish, but how could he to this to me? To us? What was going to happen to our family?

"Why would anyone join the army?!" I said as loudly as I could without disturbing the kids.

"You know I wouldn't be the person I am or have the life I have-"

"Blah blah blah"

"I'd never be a doctor, I'd never have-"

He was trying to justify it with all this bullshit. The fact remained that because he was in the army, it was probably going to...what? She didn't know. Get hurt? Leave them alone for a long time? Not watch his children grow up? And then the absolute worst thing came into her head but she pushed it to the back of her mind. No. Never. He couldn't.

"Just stop!"

"Honey..."

I crossed my arms furiously, ignoring the fact I was now standing in a pool of wine, trying my absolute best to keep from crying. His face looked so worn, so helpless. He knew that I was fuming, that I was scared and mad and horrified all at the same time and there was nothing he could do. Before he could see me cry, I turned around, took off my socks and threw them into the laundry room, went into our bedroom where I locked the door and sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep.


End file.
